Sunday, February 27, 2011

Sunday Sketches (urgent) - UPDATE

Good morning my lovely bloggie friends. This is a quick note to let you know that there will not be a Sunday Sketches this week. I apologize but my father is in this hospital and going through an emergency surgery. I've been on the phone constantly between family, the doctor, etc. and am already exhausted. I do hope you understand and will join me again next week.

Update -- My father made it through surgery OK and is currently sedated due to pain/discomfort. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers - continued ones are much appreciated as it will be a long journey. To make a long story short, his prognosis is not good and will most likely be going through treatment once recovered. I'm doing OK for the most part; mainly exhausted from constant phone calls/updates with the doctor and family. Thank you again.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Doodling away

I’ve been taking advantage of my breaks at work this past week or so and am enjoying it. For one thing, it makes me actually take one instead of working through it!

Every morning I make sure to grab my little tote bag filled with paper, pencils and sketching pens and when break time arrives, I doodle away at the far corner of my desk. It’s been quite refreshing and provides a mental break from the daily repetitive mundane work, even giving me hope deep down inside that I won’t be trapped in this job forever. It’s just a stepping stone to greater things to come in my career/life!

So please enjoy a sneak peek at one of my doodles from this end of the world. =D

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Wednesday Words: QUIETUDE

calm, content, hush, lull, peacefulness, placidity, quiet, quietude, relaxed, rested, silence, soothing, stillness, tranquility

This week's word came to mind as I sat on the couch in my jammies with a hot cuppa in hand, eating a small bowl of strawberry ice cream. QUIETUDE. Ahhh, yes. These are the things that make me feel at peace inside...

  • PERFECT hot cuppas (and even shared ones!)
  • Candlelit rooms
  • Being wrapped up in soft throw blankets
  • Cuddling the puppy
  • Clutching a hot water bottle when cold
  • My fuzzy rainbow coloured knee socks
  • The smell of old books
  • My favourite burgundy sweats
  • Buried under a pile of quilts to sleep
  • The soft ticking of a grandfather clock
  • Praying
What things make you feel at peace in your cozy world over yonder?

Monday, February 14, 2011

Changing Destiny

Playing my piano last night for the first time in awhile felt incredible. I stumbled over the keys for about 20 minutes or so in an attempt to remember where my fingers were meant to be, eventually finding each note and forming a beautiful melody.

Each song was like a healing balm of restoration and peace. As I played one after the other, feeling the emotion behind each one written, the longing to work with children and elderly began to rise up again within my spirit.

For ages, I wanted to be the next Amy Grant or Barbara Streisand, constantly sending in demos of songs I had written to recording studios across the country. I was determined to be a star, my name in headlights, etc. It wasn’t until I had an opportunity to work with Paul Smith, where my heart began to change direction.

He challenged me, my faith, and the true motives behind why I wanted to sing. I soon discovered that my endeavors were about no one but myself, my fame, my glory. Not a good feeling discovering such a thing about myself. Ugh.

From then on, I stopped sending out demos and began looking around my home town wondering how could I make the most impact for others with my singing. To make a really long story short, one thing led to another where I found myself devoting almost every weekend visiting nursing homes and/or abused/neglected kids. Let me tell you what an amazing transformation it not only made on my personal life, but theirs as well.

I connected. I gave. We all received.

Those words do not come from an arrogant or prideful heart at all, but one who has been through hell and back and completely related to their heartache. I too had been abused, used, abandoned, rejected, taken advantage of and/or told I was worth nothing and so on.

From that I set out with determination and perseverance. I CHOSE to walk a path that many told me was utterly impossible. And, you know what? I DID IT!

Through previous extensive counseling I learned that it was not my fault. No one deserves such treatment, and, frankly, I resent being judged and characterized by my past as it does not define me and who I am but, yes, it is my story... and one in which I plan to continue to use for good!

You are looking at a woman who OVERCAME so many obstacles in her life and changed my so-called “destiny of destruction." I broke the cycle of violence, drugs, and alcohol often experienced by those who've lived through such horrors yet never seek the in-depth counseling required.

With the proper support channels and my faith, I went from ordinary to extraordinary and since then, I've truly been humbled to be able to help literally thousands of men, women, and children (both young and old) face those very same issues in their life -- they too can overcome!

[tears rolling]

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Touching Grace

Photo: here

There has been a stirring within my heart over the past week or so. Besides art, I love to express myself through words as well. In fact, I have a collection of binders containing poems and songs I've written since I was a very young girl.

Over the past few years a couple of the poems have been published, songs recorded, contests won, but that's not what it's about for me. So, what is it? It's more about sharing a part of me with the world and allowing the written words from real life experiences to touch others deeper than the outer shell, making its way down into the heart, leaving someone changed in ways they could not imagined.

I don't know how many times I've been told by individuals that my poems and/or songs touched them so much that it gave them goose bumps or even brought them to tears. It truly blesses me to know that my words could impact and change the lives of those around me in such a way. I've let this gift sit on the shelf and collect dust for far too long. So, this weekend, I pulled out the dusting rag, sat down at my piano and began to play/write once again. It felt great!

Below is one such piece. I hope you enjoy it and would love to hear some feedback as to whether you 'd like to read some more of these writings.

Saved by Grace© Blue Chair Diary, "Sophia"

She lies quietly
On the cold tiles
Next to the porcelain tower
Of running water

No one can see her

She is frozen
Paralyzed with fear
As black-stained, trickling tears
Glaze the broken mirror

No one can hear her

She stares quietly
At the torn photograph
Underneath the jagged glass
Forming a watercolor

No one knows her

She looks at her arms
At the fingerprints of hate
Painted on her pale skin
In deep red and blue

Only one can save her


She closes her eyes
Praying with her last breath
As an angelic figure
Gathers her up and flies away

No one can hurt her

© Alexandra MacVean. All rights reserved.
Blogger Templates by pipdig