I made my way to the doctor's office again today for a number of reasons. One of them was just feeling like I have now reached the point of needing to talk about all that is currently on my plate. It's a lot trying to simply deal with the diagnosis of my father, but add to that the responsibility of things from making sure everything else is taken care of is another.
Instead of coping with things, I have been compartmentalizing my emotions over the last two weeks in order to keep any sort of composure for my father and other distant relatives. I start to cry and then quickly pull myself together, all the while feeling guilty, because of this sense of duty to be strong for everyone.
(Big sigh here)
I told my doctor today I knew it was time to begin to cope somehow because I'm fully aware from previous situations I've been through that one can only compartmentalize for so long before the "crash" cycle begins - and that is the last thing I want/need to do right now. I need to take some time for me for a few days or more and simply cope with my father's condition...
reading this takes me back...my mum, her cancer, how I dealt and didn't....I understand all to weel you situation my friend.
ReplyDeleteallow yourself to feel what you feel my friend, it helps...believe me.
hugs
Sending you healing thoughts and a thumbs up because you do sound like a very brave person to me. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteSophia, I heard it's actually healthy to put yourself first, then you can better attend to the needs of others. It's good for stress and your self-esteem. Sounds like a bubble bath is in order!
ReplyDeleteSophia, it's been quite a while since I've had the chance to stop and comment, and I'm so glad your blog called to me just now. I'm sorry to hear that your dad is ill, and since I haven't been here in so long, I don't know anything else about his condition. It obviously sounds serious, though, and I can totally understand and relate to you trying to remain strong and feeling as if you HAVE to. So good to hear that you talked to your doctor and realize that you need to take care of YOU! I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteSophia,
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you're feeling right now. It's so hard to try to be strong for everyone around you all the while keeping your feelings inside. I still have many days where the slightest little thing makes me want to cry but instead I wipe away the tears and tell myself to be strong. But there comes a time when you just can't handle being strong and you have to let it out.
Take some time, be true to yourself and don't worry about everyone else, even if it's just for a little while.
Wishing you peace through this difficult time and keeping you in my prayers.
Sophia, you and your Dad are in my prayers. Don't be afraid to cry. God gave us tears as a safety valve. It's not good to bottle things up. My heart goes out to you.
ReplyDeleteTake all the time you need and remember we will be here when you need us.
ReplyDeleteI am soo with you! And I love that you go beyond just "art" on this blog. Everything relates. And isn't art just the materialization of our lives? Lives which aren't always pretty, but even those not-so--beautiful moments are part of the whole.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are with you and hoping you have some clarity and a lot of those more beautiful moments in the very near future. :-)
Glad you took steps to help yourself. We have to remain strong and can only do so by being honest and taking care of ourselves.
ReplyDeletePrayers and hugs to you to help with your coping. You have taken the first important step by recognizing the problem.
ReplyDeleteLife has a way of dealing and coping with the situations. You will derive strength.Take Care...
ReplyDeleteLook after you. Hugs.xx
ReplyDeleteMay spring fill and round you up into light and warmth.
ReplyDeleteDear friend, it is so important to to take care of yourself. There is no reason to be strong all the time. Others have to be strong for themselves. We all have our emotional limits! Boundaries are necessary. Please be kind to yourself. Love from my heart to yours.
ReplyDeleteDear Sophia,
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself, you continie to be in my thoughts. xo - hugs!
Hey you! I don't know if the following quote helps you, but it did me when I lost a friend recently. I suppose you could relate it to just about anything ...
ReplyDelete"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go." ~Author Unknown