Playing my piano last night for the first time in awhile felt
incredible. I stumbled over the keys for about 20 minutes or so in an attempt to remember where my fingers were meant to be, eventually finding each note and forming a beautiful melody.
Each song was like a healing balm of restoration and peace. As I played one after the other, feeling the emotion behind each one written, the longing to work with children and elderly began to rise up again within my spirit.
For ages, I wanted to be the next
Amy Grant or
Barbara Streisand, constantly sending in demos of songs I had written to recording studios across the country. I was determined to be
a star, my name in headlights, etc. It wasn’t until I had an opportunity to work with
Paul Smith, where my heart began to change direction.
He challenged me, my faith, and the
true motives behind why I wanted to sing. I soon discovered that my endeavors were about no one but myself,
my fame, my glory. Not a good feeling discovering such a thing about myself. Ugh.
From then on, I stopped sending out demos and began looking around my home town wondering how could I make the most impact for others with my singing. To make a really long story short, one thing led to another where I found myself devoting almost every weekend visiting nursing homes and/or abused/neglected kids. Let me tell you what an amazing transformation it not only made on my personal life, but theirs as well.
I connected. I gave. We all received.
Those words do not come from an arrogant or prideful heart at all, but one who has been through hell and back and completely related to their heartache. I too had been abused, used, abandoned, rejected, taken advantage of and/or told I was worth nothing and so on.
From that I set out with determination and perseverance. I CHOSE to walk a path that many told me was
utterly impossible. And, you know what?
I DID IT!
Through previous extensive counseling I learned that it was not my fault. No one deserves such treatment, and, frankly, I resent being judged and characterized by my past as it does
not define me and who I am but, yes, it is my story... and one in which I plan to continue to use for good!
You are looking at a woman who
OVERCAME so many obstacles in her life and changed my so-called “destiny of destruction." I broke the cycle of violence, drugs, and alcohol often experienced by those who've lived through such horrors yet never seek the in-depth counseling required.
With the proper support channels and my faith, I went from
ordinary to
extraordinary and since then, I've truly been humbled to be able to help literally thousands of men, women, and children (both young and old) face those very same issues in their life -- they too
can overcome!
[tears rolling]
