Teach Me

©2010-2011 ~Potapova

Before I left to visit my father, my good friend, Anne, shared with me that facing death is one of the most difficult things to do and that its impact on an individual is pretty much permanent.  Nevertheless, I still tried to prepare myself before stepping onto the plane, but let me tell you there wasn't anything I could have done to truly ready myself for what I faced this past week.

Death doesn't just touch you once and then it's gone.  It touches you in many different ways and almost always grabs ahold of you when you least expect it.  Its grip can be emotional and/or physical.  Every time I felt like I could breathe, that the "worst" was over, another blow came along and reminded all over again of what I was facing.  Sometimes, it was quite crippling and took a few hours to recover.

Since I've returned home, it's been said that I look different and how my appearance comes across gentle and beautiful in a new way.  At first, I was puzzled and then immediately remembered the words..."Death changes a person in ways you could never imagine."

I believe it has impacted me through my father in ways that I'll never forget.  However, will I allow it to haunt me or allow it to continue to teach me how fragile life is, to never take things for granted, big or small?

NOTE:  Please know, my father has not yet passed.  He is very, very ill and is dying.  This trip is the last time I know I'll see him.  Facing that and how death is consuming him has been extremely difficult.  Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers.